World War 3 pencilled in for March
World leaders have agreed on a plan to begin World War 3 at the earliest opportunity, pencilling in a March 2025 start date.
Musk and Trump stitched together and renamed President Muump
President Donald Trump and co-president Elon Musk have been stitched together to form one big President and changed their name to President Muump.
New report suggests you and everyone you know will be robbed and shot tonight
A new report suggests you and everyone you know will be robbed and shot to death tonight.
Young, unemployed, homeless man keenly awaits interest rate announcement
A young, unemployed, homeless man, currently sleeping on a bench, can’t wait for the next interest rate announcement.
Billions of flowers set to die slow, horrible deaths following yearly love ritual
Billions of flowers worldwide will rot to death following the yearly love ritual known as Valentine’s Day.
Albanese’s nit problem worsens
Anthony Albanese’s nit problem continues to worsen ahead of the next election.
Billionaire fury after typo changes Elon Musk into Elon Muck
Elon Musk is furious after a letter he had his secretary type to a friend ended with, “Yours sincerely, Elon Muck.”
Trump launches missile attack on Canada
Deciding to forget about the whole tariff thing, Donald Trump has opted for simply launching a missile attack on Canada.
Students told not to return to school as AI has won and future pointless
Students worldwide have been told not to bother returning to school as AI has won.
Dutton accused of copying Trump’s election playbook by attempting to shag a porn star
Opposition leader Peter Dutton is accused of copying Donald Trump’s election playbook following his attempt to shag a porn star.
Parents of axe murderer regret saying “At least he’s not an axe murderer”
The parents of a man recently convicted of murdering his best friend with an axe now regret saying, “at least he’s not an axe murderer”.
Trump directs Putin to shoot Elon Musk at Ukraine
Attempting to end the Russia/Ukraine conflict Donald Trump has told Putin to shoot Elon Musk at their war-torn neighbour.
Giant monkey lifts up piano playing lady
A giant monkey was last night seen lifting up a platform holding a lady playing an ornate grand piano.
Peter Dutton sets fire to his head
In a desperate attempt to attract voters Australian Opposition leader Peter Dutton has set fire to his head.
Humanity Preparing to Do the Same Shit Today as It Did Yesterday
A new report released early this morning reveals that humans worldwide are preparing to do exactly the same shit today as they did yesterday.
Australian Opposition Leader Peter Dutton Seen Lurking in Drain
Australian opposition leader Peter Dutton, who went missing several months ago, has been seen lurking in a Canberra drain.
Parent’s Outing to Park with Toddlers Enters 2nd Mind Numbing Minute
Reports are coming in that a parent’s trip to the local park with her two toddlers has now entered its second mind-numbing minute.
Woman Who Just Spent 3 Hours on TikTok Angry with Old Man Taking 15 Seconds to Park His Car
“Why are old people even allowed to drive?”
Man Fails in Attempt to Take Two Wheelie Bins to the Curb in One Go
What was meant to be a time-saving measure on a recent bin night backfired when a man failed in an attempt to take two wheelie bins to the curb in one go.
Couple Who Clicked ‘Going’ to Friend’s Facebook Event Admit They Are a ‘Maybe’ at Best
A couple who were invited to a party via a Facebook event and clicked “going” have admitted they are not really interested.
JUST IN
________________________________________________________________________
ENTERTAINMENT
_________________________________________________________________________
Kevin Spacey hits back at an ant he groped in ‘A Bug’s Life’
Kevin Spacey has furiously hit back at an ant he allegedly groped during the making of ‘A Bug’s Life’
Gordon Ramsay chews his own fingers off
In a scene that has surprised viewers of his new show ‘Ramsay Loses his Shit’ multi-Michelin winning chef Gordon Ramsay has chewed his own fingers off.
Large horde of OnlyFans creators infest mansion
Florida authorities say a large horde of OnlyFans creators have infested a mansion in Miami.
‘So sad’: Much loved actor we won’t name until you click on this has died
A much-loved actor who we won’t name until you’ve clicked on the headline has died overnight in his Hollywood home.
OPINION
__________________________________________________________________________
AGEING
__________________________________________________________________________
Read next
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
World War 3 pencilled in for March
World leaders have agreed on a plan to begin World War 3 at the earliest opportunity, pencilling in a March 2025 start date.
Musk and Trump stitched together and renamed President Muump
President Donald Trump and co-president Elon Musk have been stitched together to form one big President and changed their name to President Muump.
New report suggests you and everyone you know will be robbed and shot tonight
A new report suggests you and everyone you know will be robbed and shot to death tonight.
Young, unemployed, homeless man keenly awaits interest rate announcement
A young, unemployed, homeless man, currently sleeping on a bench, can’t wait for the next interest rate announcement.
Billions of flowers set to die slow, horrible deaths following yearly love ritual
Billions of flowers worldwide will rot to death following the yearly love ritual known as Valentine’s Day.
Albanese’s nit problem worsens
Anthony Albanese’s nit problem continues to worsen ahead of the next election.
Billionaire fury after typo changes Elon Musk into Elon Muck
Elon Musk is furious after a letter he had his secretary type to a friend ended with, “Yours sincerely, Elon Muck.”
Trump launches missile attack on Canada
Deciding to forget about the whole tariff thing, Donald Trump has opted for simply launching a missile attack on Canada.
Students told not to return to school as AI has won and future pointless
Students worldwide have been told not to bother returning to school as AI has won.
Dutton accused of copying Trump’s election playbook by attempting to shag a porn star
Opposition leader Peter Dutton is accused of copying Donald Trump’s election playbook following his attempt to shag a porn star.
Parents of axe murderer regret saying “At least he’s not an axe murderer”
The parents of a man recently convicted of murdering his best friend with an axe now regret saying, “at least he’s not an axe murderer”.
Trump directs Putin to shoot Elon Musk at Ukraine
Attempting to end the Russia/Ukraine conflict Donald Trump has told Putin to shoot Elon Musk at their war-torn neighbour.
Giant monkey lifts up piano playing lady
A giant monkey was last night seen lifting up a platform holding a lady playing an ornate grand piano.
Peter Dutton sets fire to his head
In a desperate attempt to attract voters Australian Opposition leader Peter Dutton has set fire to his head.
Humanity Preparing to Do the Same Shit Today as It Did Yesterday
A new report released early this morning reveals that humans worldwide are preparing to do exactly the same shit today as they did yesterday.
Australian Opposition Leader Peter Dutton Seen Lurking in Drain
Australian opposition leader Peter Dutton, who went missing several months ago, has been seen lurking in a Canberra drain.
Parent’s Outing to Park with Toddlers Enters 2nd Mind Numbing Minute
Reports are coming in that a parent’s trip to the local park with her two toddlers has now entered its second mind-numbing minute.
Woman Who Just Spent 3 Hours on TikTok Angry with Old Man Taking 15 Seconds to Park His Car
“Why are old people even allowed to drive?”
Man Fails in Attempt to Take Two Wheelie Bins to the Curb in One Go
What was meant to be a time-saving measure on a recent bin night backfired when a man failed in an attempt to take two wheelie bins to the curb in one go.
Couple Who Clicked ‘Going’ to Friend’s Facebook Event Admit They Are a ‘Maybe’ at Best
A couple who were invited to a party via a Facebook event and clicked “going” have admitted they are not really interested.
JUST IN
_____________________________
ENTERTAINMENT
_____________________________
OPINION
______________________________________________________________________________________________
Read next
____________________________________________________
World War 3 pencilled in for March
World leaders have agreed on a plan to begin World War 3 at the earliest opportunity, pencilling in a March 2025 start date.
JUST IN
________________________
ENTERTAINMENT
________________________
OPINION
________________________
Read next
_____________________
