
Budget speech helps Australians catch up on much-needed sleep
Tired Australians nationwide have praised Treasurer Jim Chalmers speech for helping them catch up on some much-needed sleep.

Taliban release US hostage saying America far worse than an Afghan prison
The Taliban believe sending their hostage back to the USA will inflict more suffering on him than one of their prisons

Returning astronaut just remembered he left his sprinkler on
Astronaut Barry “Butch” Wilmore completely forgot he had put the sprinkler on his back lawn just before he went into space 9 months ago.

St Patrick’s Day pub celebration ends in bloodbath after someone says “to be sure” once too often
Irishman Paddy Convery-O’Rielly-O’Henry-McGee, became annoyed when local revellers kept saying, “to be sure” to him every two minutes.

Clive Palmer eats last of the eggs
Breakfast lovers go hungry after billionaire Clive Palmer eats the last of the world’s eggs.

Trump tariffs tariffs that are already tariffed. Tariffs
US President Donald Trump has put tariffs on tariffs in a bid to hear the word tariffs more often.

Trump berates an old guy he loaned 5 bucks to once
Following his tirade at Volodymyr Zelensky, Donald Trump has decided to yell at everyone he has ever given money to.

Musk and Trump stitched together and renamed President Muump
President Donald Trump and co-president Elon Musk have been stitched together to form one big President and changed their name to President Muump.

Albanese’s nit problem worsens
Anthony Albanese’s nit problem continues to worsen ahead of the next election.

Billionaire’s fury after typo changes Elon Musk to Elon Muck
Elon Musk is furious after a letter he had his secretary type to a friend ended with, “Yours sincerely, Elon Muck.”

Trump launches missile attack on Canada
Donald Trump has launched a full scale missile attack on Canada after they said no to being ruined by him financially.

World War 3 pencilled in for March
World leaders have agreed on a plan to begin World War 3 at the earliest opportunity, pencilling in a March 2025 start date.

New report suggests you and everyone you know will be robbed and shot tonight
A new report suggests you and everyone you know will be robbed and shot to death tonight.

Parents of axe murderer regret saying “At least he’s not an axe murderer”
The parents of a boy who was often a bit naughty now regret saying, “At least he’s not an axe murderer.”

Peter Dutton sets fire to his head
In a desperate attempt to attract voters Australian Opposition leader Peter Dutton has set fire to his head.

Man bullied by a baby
A man has been repeatedly bullied by this angry baby, sources claim

Humanity preparing to do the same shit today as it did yesterday
Humans worldwide are preparing to do exactly the same shit today as they did yesterday.

YAY! Woman lands new job that sucks slightly less than her old job
A woman is delighted today, having landed a brand-new job that sucks slightly less than her old job.

Peter Dutton seen lurking in a drain
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, is thought to be lurking in drains, attempting to drag people to their deaths.

Woman who just spent 3 hours on TikTok angry with old man taking 15 seconds to park his car
“Why are old people even allowed to drive?”

5 places to hide when your partner mentions going to Ikea
It’s Saturday morning, and you hear the four words you dread: “Let’s go to Ikea.”
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World wastes its time watching people awarded for wasting its time
People worldwide have wasted hours of their lives watching those who create films that waste even more of that life get awarded for it

Do you have what it takes to be a celebrity?
Being a celebrity is everybody’s dream. It not only makes you rich, but it keeps you busy – and keeping busy is one of the best ways to forget about getting old and dying!

Gordon Ramsay chews his own fingers off
Despite it preventing him from swearing for a moment, Gordon Ramsay has chewed his own fingers off.

‘So sad’: Much loved actor we won’t name until you click on this has died
A much-loved actor who we won’t name until you’ve clicked on the headline has died overnight in his Hollywood home.
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Read next
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Budget speech helps Australians catch up on much-needed sleep
Tired Australians nationwide have praised Treasurer Jim Chalmers speech for helping them catch up on some much-needed sleep.

Taliban release US hostage saying America far worse than an Afghan prison
The Taliban believe sending their hostage back to the USA will inflict more suffering on him than one of their prisons

Returning astronaut just remembered he left his sprinkler on
Astronaut Barry “Butch” Wilmore completely forgot he had put the sprinkler on his back lawn just before he went into space 9 months ago.

St Patrick’s Day pub celebration ends in bloodbath after someone says “to be sure” once too often
Irishman Paddy Convery-O’Rielly-O’Henry-McGee, became annoyed when local revellers kept saying, “to be sure” to him every two minutes.

Clive Palmer eats last of the eggs
Breakfast lovers go hungry after billionaire Clive Palmer eats the last of the world’s eggs.

Trump tariffs tariffs that are already tariffed. Tariffs
US President Donald Trump has put tariffs on tariffs in a bid to hear the word tariffs more often.

Trump berates an old guy he loaned 5 bucks to once
Following his tirade at Volodymyr Zelensky, Donald Trump has decided to yell at everyone he has ever given money to.

Musk and Trump stitched together and renamed President Muump
President Donald Trump and co-president Elon Musk have been stitched together to form one big President and changed their name to President Muump.

Albanese’s nit problem worsens
Anthony Albanese’s nit problem continues to worsen ahead of the next election.

Billionaire’s fury after typo changes Elon Musk to Elon Muck
Elon Musk is furious after a letter he had his secretary type to a friend ended with, “Yours sincerely, Elon Muck.”

Trump launches missile attack on Canada
Donald Trump has launched a full scale missile attack on Canada after they said no to being ruined by him financially.

World War 3 pencilled in for March
World leaders have agreed on a plan to begin World War 3 at the earliest opportunity, pencilling in a March 2025 start date.

New report suggests you and everyone you know will be robbed and shot tonight
A new report suggests you and everyone you know will be robbed and shot to death tonight.

Parents of axe murderer regret saying “At least he’s not an axe murderer”
The parents of a boy who was often a bit naughty now regret saying, “At least he’s not an axe murderer.”

Peter Dutton sets fire to his head
In a desperate attempt to attract voters Australian Opposition leader Peter Dutton has set fire to his head.

Man bullied by a baby
A man has been repeatedly bullied by this angry baby, sources claim

Humanity preparing to do the same shit today as it did yesterday
Humans worldwide are preparing to do exactly the same shit today as they did yesterday.

YAY! Woman lands new job that sucks slightly less than her old job
A woman is delighted today, having landed a brand-new job that sucks slightly less than her old job.

Peter Dutton seen lurking in a drain
Opposition leader, Peter Dutton, is thought to be lurking in drains, attempting to drag people to their deaths.

Woman who just spent 3 hours on TikTok angry with old man taking 15 seconds to park his car
“Why are old people even allowed to drive?”

5 places to hide when your partner mentions going to Ikea
It’s Saturday morning, and you hear the four words you dread: “Let’s go to Ikea.”
Read next
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Budget speech helps Australians catch up on much-needed sleep
Tired Australians nationwide have praised Treasurer Jim Chalmers speech for helping them catch up on some much-needed sleep.