SHARE:
SHARE:
SHARE:
Are you looking for a workout that you think you’ll stick to until you remember you’ve never stuck to anything in your life? Do you want a routine that will briefly make you feel like what you’re doing will help you live longer until you recall deciding last time that it probably won’t? Then here are 6 exercises to try until you remember exercise is pointless and give up again.
Squats
Stand straight, knees together, and squat down slowly until your thighs start to burn. Stop after two reps when you remember there’s no way you’ll keep this up. You didn’t last time. Give up again.
High Knees
Run on the spot, lifting your legs high until one of your knees starts to hurt, and stop immediately. Your knee is going to go out for good if you keep this up and will cost you a fortune in doctor’s bills, just like last time. Give up again.
Leg Lifts
Lie on your back and try to lift your legs off the ground a few inches. At first, this will seem ok, but then the pain sets in and you remember that you hated this last time. Give up again.
Jog
This is a great one for making you feel good… for about two minutes. You’re out in the sunshine and people who see you no doubt feel envious of your level of commitment. But the following day, your thighs feel like someone pummelled them with a meat tenderizer. You remember how you promised yourself there was no way you would ever do this again. Give up.
Skip
Look for a bit of cord or something you can fashion into a skipping rope. When you can’t find anything suitable, go to a sports store to buy one. When you remember how fucking much it costs for six feet of black cable and a couple of crappy plastic handles, give up.
Plank
You’ll very quickly remember that this is way too hard and that you will never keep doing it. Give up for good.
