Being a celebrity is everybody’s dream. It not only makes you rich, but it keeps you busy – and keeping busy is one of the best ways to forget about getting old and dying!

Celebrities keep busy by filling their days with all sorts of pointless activities like;

• Making TV shows, films or albums.

• Attending the opening or launch of their TV shows, films or albums.

• Spending countless hours promoting their TV shows, films or albums.

• Convincing themselves (and all of us) that what they’re doing is really important and that the shows they make are actually going to change something when, in reality, what they do is as meaningful as humming on the toilet.

Do you think you might have what it takes to be a celebrity? If you have two or more of the following traits, you just might be on your way to fame and fortune…

• You don’t give a shit about anyone else but yourself.

• You get jealous of other people doing better than you.

• You tell people it’s all about expressing yourself when you really mean indulging yourself.

• You’re a cunt.