Budget speech helps Australians catch up on much-needed sleep

Taliban release US hostage saying America far worse than an Afghan prison

Returning astronaut just remembered he left his sprinkler on

St Patrick’s Day pub celebration ends in bloodbath after someone says “to be sure” once too often

Clive Palmer eats last of the eggs

Trump tariffs tariffs that are already tariffed. Tariffs

World wastes its time watching people awarded for wasting its time

Trump berates an old guy he loaned 5 bucks to once

Next planetary alignment that we also won’t give a shit about not happening until 2040

Homeless man confident Dutton Albanese property ownership tit-for-tat will fix everything

God makes Pope suffer a few more days

Kevin Spacey hits back at an ant he groped in ‘A Bug’s Life’

World War 3 pencilled in for March

Musk and Trump stitched together and renamed President Muump

New report suggests you and everyone you know will be robbed and shot tonight

Young, unemployed, homeless man keenly awaits interest rate announcement

Billions of flowers set to die slow, horrible deaths following yearly love ritual

How I dealt with anxiety by hiding in my house until the police were called

Trump directs Putin to shoot Elon Musk at Ukraine

DREAM COME TRUE! Sam Kerr gets away with spewing in a taxi