Musk Orders President-Elect to Now Execute Anyone Who Refers to X as “Formerly Known as Twitter”

Melbourne Cup Winner Knight’s Choice Arrested Following Wild Night of Celebrations

Poll Predicts Either Trump or Harris Will Win US Election

BREAKING: Humanity Preparing to Do the Same Shit Today as It Did Yesterday

New McDonald’s Drive-Thru Employee Spends Entire Shift Giving Customers Dead Rats in a Bag

Man Says He Can’t Believe How Fast This Year Has Gone Just Like He Does Every Year at This Time

YAY! Woman Lands New Job That Sucks Slightly Less Than Her Old Job

King Charles to be Replaced with IKEA Table Lamp

Australian Opposition Leader Peter Dutton Seen Lurking in Drain

Wealthy Siblings Argue Over Who Will Continue with Father’s Goal of Making Society Worse

Parent’s Outing to Park with Toddlers Enters 2nd Mind Numbing Minute

Second and Third Assassins Arrested at Trump’s Favourite Strip Club and Burger Joint

Trump Says He Would Rather Be Electrocuted By a Shark Than Have Taylor Swift Drop a Car Battery on His Head

Ironic! Olympic Breakdancer Raygun Accidently Shot With a Real Ray Gun

Private Health Cover Price Hike Causes Rash of Heart Attacks.

Woman Who Just Spent 3 Hours on TikTok Angry with Old Man Taking 15 Seconds to Park His Car

Why God?!! Both My Hands are Holding Shopping Bags and I Don’t Know Which Pocket My Car Keys are In!

Dad Attempts to Relive Youth by Dressing New Baby in Linkin Park Onesie

I’ve Realised That Whether There’s a Point to Life or Not, We Should All Do Things… Or… Not Do Things… Or… Whatever

The Top 5 Places to Hide When Your Partner Mentions Going to Ikea