Leaders across the globe have finally agreed on a plan to begin World War 3 at the earliest opportunity, pencilling in a March 2025 start date.  

Sick of all the toing and froing over the past few years that has seen a third World War looking imminent one minute then forgotten about the next, leaders from the US, UK, Russia and China have decided enough is enough and that it’s time to set a definite date.

Though still only tentative, experts say this is a significant first step in locking down a solid start to the conflict.

A spokesperson for all of the world’s leaders said the sooner we can start World War 3 and blow all of humanity to kingdom come, the better. “Mankind is a waste of space,” he said.